


I Wish we had all the Time in the World

by mfandom61



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Character Death, Not Medically Accurate, a bit OOC, a little bit AU, mentions of additional characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-23 14:09:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mfandom61/pseuds/mfandom61
Summary: Jay is in the hospital and wakes up after being shot on a case, everything goes well until it doesn’t.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	I Wish we had all the Time in the World

**Author's Note:**

> This is definitely a bit AU, it’s based off what happened to Jay in season 7 but I changed it to fit my needs better. It’s for sure not medically accurate. It’s definitely the longest thing I’ve ever written for the chicagoverse and the first time I’ve posted for it. Thank so much for reading!

I walked into the hospital to see Jay, he had finally woken up just a few hours ago, Will had called me. But I hadn’t got to see him since I had to go find a suspect for our current case. Jay had been in the hospital for three days since getting shot and all. 

I came towards his room, he was just sitting there on his phone, not looking at all like he was shot just a few days prior. Of course he would be perfectly fine after all of this. I stood in the doorway, seeming like a stalker, I just didn’t know what I was supposed to say. 

“Hey,” he said as he looked up towards me. I slowly walked into his room and pulled up the chair towards his bed. 

“Hi...how are you?” I asked. 

“I think I’m doing pretty good actually, Will said I seem like I’m recovering. I saw you standing by the door by the way,” he told me. I shook my head slightly. 

“Ah, sorry about that. I just wasn’t sure what to say,” I said. 

“It’s fine, this whole situation is kind of weird,” he replied with a small chuckle. “How was work today by the way?” 

“Nothing too exciting, chased a suspect for three blocks, same old. I would’ve come here earlier if I could, but then I had to do the interrogation,” I responded. 

“I get it, wouldn’t have wanted you to leave anyway, I’m doing fine.” 

“I know, but you really scared me with all this,” I told him as I looked him up and down. He had a sling around his arm and was propped up against the bed. 

“I’m sorry Hailey, I’ve worried you a lot in the past year or so,” he said. 

“It’s in the partner job description, I’m sure I’ve done the same.” He nodded in reply. 

“Look at this I found on my phone,” he said suddenly, he grabbed his phone off the side table where he had put it previously, with his better hand of course, not the one in the sling. He showed me some meme off the internet and I laughed out loud, he smiled so big at me. 

“Is this what you’re been doing these past couple hours, as I’ve done our important work?” I jokingly asked. 

“Yes ma’am, here’s another one.” He continued showing me a couple more memes, which landed in lots of laughs. I felt so much better than I had been feeling the past few days. We talked for a little bit longer but I was getting tired. I had barely slept the past couple days, out of my worry for Jay. 

“Hailey, you should get home, you have work tomorrow,” he told me. 

“I probably should yeah, I’ll come see you tomorrow morning before work,” I told him as I went to stand up and move the chair back to its original spot. 

“You don’t have to see me, sleep in, I’ll be fine,” he said. 

“Nope, I’m your partner, I’ll be here whenever I can, our other friends want to come too,” I told him. 

“I’d like to see them, thanks Hailey.” 

“For what?” I asked as I zipped up my jacket. 

“Everything, for being my partner, and for being here,” he responded. His hand danced around mine, that I hadn’t noticed and I had placed on his bed. I lightly squeezed his hand and waved goodbye as I went to exit the room. 

I got home about twenty minutes later and prepared myself for bed. It was pretty early for me but I was exhausted, the past couple days had finally caught up to me. For a second, the worry for Jay had crept in, just like the past couple nights. But then I remembered his memes and how normal he had been today, that was enough of a comfort to soothe me to sleep. 

I got up early the next morning and made sure I was quiet to not wake Vanessa, she went for drinks after work the previous night so she probably needed good sleep. I pulled on one of my typical work outfits and got my gun out of the safe. I got into my car and drove myself to the hospital. I had about thirty minutes to spend with Jay before I had to go to work. On the way to the hospital I went to the coffee shop and got Jay’s typical order. 

“Good morning,” I almost sing songed as I walked into his room, real sleep did weird things to me. 

“Hey, coffee! Wow, thank you,” he said as I handed him his cup. He blew on it and took a generous drink of it. 

“When did you wake up?” I asked. 

“A nurse comes to wake me every hour or so, the most recent time was like fifteen minutes ago so I just decided to stay up, thankfully I did or I wouldn’t be getting this wonderful coffee from my partner. You look well rested, I’m glad.” 

“Yeah, you being well does good things for my mind,” I told him as I continued drinking my own coffee. 

“Still sorry that I was worrying you earlier, you don’t deserve that,” he said. I just shook it off, I’d always worry about him, no matter what he was doing. 

“Any new memes to show me?” I asked. 

“Of course, my only form of entertainment. I texted some to Kim yesterday, I don’t know how pleased she was about that,” he said. We laughed about a couple of them for a few minutes. After the memes, we just talked about random things for another ten minutes or so, I stood up to throw out our coffee cups and took out my own phone to check the time. 

“Oh shoot, sorry Jay. I gotta get to work now,” I told him as I walked back to his bed. 

“Go ahead, be careful Hailey,” he told me. I nodded my head and gave him a quick smile before heading out his door and outside to my car. The work day went by fairly slowly, no new case so we just worked on paperwork from the previous day's arrest. During lunch, I talked with everyone about how Jay was doing, they were all relieved that everything was going well. 

“Kevin and I were talking about visiting him after work today,” Kim told me. 

“I’m going to be there today,” I said. 

“Oh good, we’re probably gonna drive there right after.” 

“Me too, I think he’ll like seeing you guys,” I told her. The rest of the day dragged on and Voight actually let us leave early for our typical standards. I joked around a bit with Adam and Kevin as we went outside to our cars. I immediately drove to the hospital and Kevin pulled up in the spot next to mine. 

“Hey you,” I said as we were both getting out of our cars. 

“Hey Hails, just coming to see my man Jay,” he said as we walked in. Kim caught up to us just as we were walking into his room. 

“Wow, three guests today, I feel honoured,” Jay joked as we walked in. There were only two chairs in the room so Kevin went to ask for another one, as Kim and I pulled the ones that were there up to his bed. 

“Hey Jay, how are you doing?” Kim asked him. 

“Feeling more and more like myself, how about you guys?” 

“Good, work was slow,” I responded. We chatted for a bit and Kevin came back with a chair and a couple snacks from the vending machine. We ate and chatted, and saw many more memes off Jay’s phone. 

“You know, I was listening to music while doing my reports today,” Kevin told us. 

“Wow Kev…” Kim began with a laugh. 

“Scandalous,“ I stated. 

“Is Voight going blind or something? I got in trouble once for drinking water too loudly,” Jay told him. 

“I don’t know, he was in his own office basically all day, I guess he thinks that we’re capable of doing our reports on our own,” Kevin said. 

“Are we though? There was probably more talking than working today, if Voight was actually supervising we’d all get yelled at,” Kim added. We laughed about Voight’s weird quirks and Jay made an interesting impression of him. 

“It’s getting kind of late, I have to wake up early tomorrow to go to the dentist,” Kim said as she made her way up to standing. 

“The dentist? Wow I feel bad,” Kevin told her. He had some vendetta about going to the dentist. Kim said her goodbyes to us and left. We talked a little bit longer and about thirty minutes later Kevin stood up to leave as well, it was close to 11:00pm by then. 

“That was fun,” Jay said after Kevin had left. 

“Yeah, it’s been a light hearted sort of day,” I stated. 

“You should head out too, it’s getting late,” he told me. I gave him a quick nod and decided that I probably should. 

“Goodnight Jay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told him. 

“Will said I should be getting released in two or three days,” he said. 

“Oh that’s great Jay,” I said with a smile. I headed out and back home. Vanessa was on the couch watching tv. 

“Hey,” she told me as I plopped down on the couch. 

“Hey, how long have you been doing this?” I asked, gesturing up to the tv. 

“A while...how’s Jay? I should come by for a quick visit tomorrow,” Vanessa said. 

“He’s doing really well, lots of talk about memes,” I told her with a laugh. 

“You seem so much happier today Hailey, you care so much about Jay,” Vanessa stated. 

“Of course I do, he’s my partner,” I told her. 

“That’s not what I mean,” she said. 

“Well, I guess it’s time for bed,” I told her and I jumped to my feet. 

“Alright..” she said. I knew that she knew that I was just changing the subject. I got myself ready for bed like all previous nights and checked my phone to see a very nice meme from Jay. I found one to send back to him with a quick good night message. I fell asleep easily, but wondering about what Vanessa had said. 

I heard some loud knocks to my bedroom door and then it suddenly opened. I jumped up in high alert but calmed down when I saw it was just Vanessa. 

“What are you doing?” I asked groggily. 

“Hailey..you need to take this call,” Vanessa began as she handed me our home phone. The look on her face made it clear that something serious was going on. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi Hailey, it’s Will.” 

“Oh Hi, why are you calling at this hour?” I asked. 

“It’s about Jay…” my heart instantly sunk. 

“What is it Will?” I asked. 

“It may end up being nothing, but he coded tonight and he was taken up to get scans, there may be some internal bleeding,” Will told me. My brain was already thinking a million miles a minute and barely heard the last part of what he was saying. 

“I’m coming Will,” I said. He didn’t argue about it and I hung up the phone and handed it to Vanessa. 

“Do you want me to come?” She asked gently. 

“No…go back to sleep. I’ll text you if things get worse,” I told her. She went to open her mouth but I just shook my head. She knew that I didn’t want her to come and eventually went back to her bedroom. I quickly got myself dressed and pulled my hair up into a messy bun. I didn’t even bother with any makeup and grabbed my keys to get into the car. 

It was barely four in the morning, and pitch black outside. But I didn’t care, I needed to get to Jay. Once I got there, Will was standing against the front desk. 

“Hey,” he said as he approached me. 

“I need to go see him,” I said as I stared down at his shoes. 

“Okay, he’s in a different room now, let me take you,” he told me. I followed him up to Jay’s room. Jay’s eyes were closed and he was hooked up to more monitors than before. 

“Is he?” I asked and Will immediately got it. 

“Just asleep, not unconscious, his scans are going to come back soon so I’ll be there then,” he told me and then apologized saying he needed to get to another patient. I sat down on the chair in his room, but didn’t move it towards him yet. I didn’t want to wake him up.

I got out my phone and just scrolled through it to waste, I kept looking up to make sure Jay was breathing. 

“Hailey?” 

“Oh you’re up, sorry if I woke you?” I told him as I stood up and moved towards his bed. 

“What are you doing here? It’s really early.” 

“I was worried,” I said as I looked down at him, he looked so much smaller and weaker than before. 

“I’m sorry to scare you again, I scared Will too, but I’m good now,” he said as I slowly reached to grab my hand with his own. I rubbed his slowly, to calm him, but really, to calm myself. 

“I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack the next time something like this happens,” I joke, earning a small laugh from Jay. 

“Hey Will,” Jay suddenly said, and I whipped my head around to see Will in the doorway.

“I have your results Jay...it’s bad,” Will says as he pulls up one of the chairs, he gestures to the other one so I can sit down. I took a few deep breaths before Will began talking. 

“Jay...apparently there was a second bullet that we didn’t see before, it’s very deep in your abdomen, and it’s slowly been allowing you to bleed. This isn’t good at all Jay,” Will said. 

“Am i going to die?” Jay asked. My heart sunk so much further than I thought it ever could. 

“I’m going to be honest, you are going to get worse,” Will answered. 

“Just tell me,” Jay stated. Tears started to collect in Will’s eyes and I hadn’t noticed that my own vision had gotten blurry. Will nodded and held his head in his hands for a few minutes. I looked up at the ceiling and willed myself not to cry in front of Jay. Just six hours ago he was perfectly fine and now this is happening. Will continued to explain that there was no use in doing surgery as it wouldn’t really improve his chances. 

Will looked over to me after he finished talking and saw how upset I looked. 

“Okay, I’m going to go check on a couple patients then I’ll be back,” he told us. “Hailey, can I talk to you for a sec?” I nodded and slowly stood up. We walked a couple feet past his room to a quiet area. 

“Why did you bring me out here?” I asked. 

“I know this is so hard, I lost my dad just about a year ago and can’t imagine doing this all again with Jay, he’s all I have. I can tell this is breaking your heart too. I know he’s important to you, tell him okay. There isn’t much time, you’re really important to him,” Will told me. 

“We’re just partners,” I said. 

“We all know it isn’t just that, he’s more to you, and you’re more to him. And that’s okay, I approve,” he said with a weak smile. 

“How am I supposed to tell him?” I asked. 

“Just do it, get yourself some closure. I’ve seen you too dance around these feelings for the past few years, I care for you both, you need this,” he told me as he squeezed my shoulder. We parted ways and I made it back to Jay’s room. 

“I’m sorry about all of this, I know I’m hurting you,” he said right as I walked in. 

“No Jay, of course this hurts. But I’m glad I’m here. Through thick and thin, that’s what partners do,” I told him. 

“Hailey, I don’t want us to lie to ourselves anymore..” 

“Jay, we don’t need to do this,” I said. 

“But we do, I’m dying Hailey,” he stated. 

“Don’t say that…” I whispered. 

“I’m sorry but it’s true, believe me I wish we had more time, I wish we had all the time in the world together. But we don’t.” He said. I just nodded as I found words that were good enough to say at that moment. 

“You’ve been my other half the past few years, my person, and I was so scared to ever change that,” I told him. 

“I know, and you have been too. Hailey, you’ve meant so much to me since the second I met you. You’ve supported me through everything and I hope I’ve been adequate enough for you,” he said. 

“Of course you have Jay, you’ve always been amazing towards me, you get me, you always have, when no one else could,” I told him. He suddenly seemed to be getting more tired and I knew the end was getting closer. 

“I love you Hailey, and I always have, and I’m so sorry it’s taking me dying to tell you,” he finally said. The air instantly felt different, the years worth of tension was suddenly cleared in one statement. I both wanted to cry and jump for joy. 

“I love you too, I’ve wanted to tell you for ages,” I said. We sat in a calm silence. I knew that I couldn’t just kiss him, it wasn’t right, though I really wanted to. My heart was shattering but also putting itself back together, I felt complete and just hoped for even another minute with Jay. 

“Hailey, you’re the most important person to me, I hope that you can find a way to make it out of it and go back to being the badass detective you’ve always been,” Jay said. 

“I’m going to miss you,” I said as tears formed in my eyes yet again. He grabbed my hand and squeezed as hard as he could but really it was quite weak. I slowly stood up as I still held his hand and gave him a kiss on his forehead as his eyes began to close, I sat back down and kept a hold of his hand. He started coding and the response team immediately rushed in and forced me out, I rubbed his hand one last time before letting go as I was definitely about to start sobbing. 

I walked down and immediately was pulled into a hug, I let go and realized it was Will. I tried wiping the tears from my eyes and I noticed his were welling up too. 

“I told him,” I said weakly. Will let out the smallest smile and gave my shoulder yet another squeeze. Suddenly doctors were wheeling Jay’s bed out of the room and told Will that he was going to surgery. 

“Okay...I’m going to go wait until his surgery is over by the room so I can get updates, I’ll come tell you when the time comes okay…” he told me. I gave him a squeeze on his shoulder and slowly walked myself into the waiting room. My heart was shattering but I tried keeping myself together as much as possible. I texted with a couple friends and called Voight and he understood why I wasn’t coming in, he said to call him when it happened, police officers had certain traditions when an active member of duty died. 

I started thinking about all the things I didn’t get to do with Jay, or things I didn’t get to tell him. Besides my late ex fiancée, Jay was the only person I really ever loved. And now it was all over, and I barely even told him. I didn’t want to have any regrets though, his life should remain as precious as it could in his death. And somehow, eventually, I’d have to make peace. If not for me, for his legacy. My heart was barely holding on, but I’d have to. 

I looked through the memes he had been sending me, and instead of crying, I laughed a little bit, through the tears though. This past week, it had broken and repaired me so many times. And been the best and worst week of my life. I knew his death wouldn’t hit me for a little while, and when it did, it’d hit hard, maybe harder than I’d ever been hit before, and that scared me. 

Kim texted me and was shocked, she had probably just woken up, after I texted her back I looked up and saw Will coming towards me. I took a couple more deep breaths and wiped my tears though I knew they were about to return. But I looked at Will’s face and didn’t see what I had expected, either he was taking it really well or was really trying to be strong. He finally opened his mouth to speak. 

“Jay made it, he didn’t die.” 


End file.
